October 5, 2023
Throughout my life, there are some days that hit me where I think:
“Wow, adulting is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
And no, I don’t mean the oft-panned perils of adulthood like filing taxes, serving jury duty, or regularly descaling your coffee maker, but rather wrestling with bigger questions like “how do I fully enjoy alone time?” or “what does alone time look like in my life?”
I never thought that I would struggle with finding time to be alone or relax, or better yet—not knowing HOW to do it properly. Because you can be alone and have “alone time” but being able to allow yourself to have quiet time, a no-phone zone, and a clear(ish) mind free of all of life’s stresses (even for 5 minutes) can seem… impossible.
For me, discovering how to fully and utterly enjoy alone time has been a journey that I am still very much on and figuring out. However, I feel that I have found some practices that help really shut off your brain and allow you to enjoy alone time.
“What do you mean by ‘alone time’?” you may or may not be wondering (especially if you have kids).
Alone time (to me) is where you are able to be by yourself and do things that not only you want to do, but need to do in order to regenerate and keep yourself healthy and happy.
But if you’re anything like me, you can find being fully alone (or allowing yourself to be alone) is a daunting and seemingly impossible task within itself. Whether it be with your busy work schedule or having children, or a combination of the two, it really can feel impossible at times. Not only being physically alone, but being able to actually shut off your mind is very, very difficult at times. (We often joke that adult life is simultaneously balancing 20 things you want to do, 30 things you need to do, and not having enough time to do either.)
I am very much of the belief that if you aren’t doing okay, then you can’t be okay for anyone else. And I say this loosely, but I do mean it: If you are feeling off, disheveled, or at a chaotic place—it’s hard to be there for those who rely on you and it’s hard for you to be there for you, especially with the long haul in mind.
We are all at different and beautiful places in our lives and finding this time may feel impossible, but even if you can allot yourself 5 minutes of intentional time—I promise you’ll feel like a new human being!
Some rituals that I try to enact in my own life to be more present within myself is to journal, step outside and get some fresh air, yoga, or do some breathing exercises and shut my eyes for just a bit. We also love a good at home spa moment, when you have time to truly spoil yourself.
On the surface, it may not seem like much, but y’all—it works.
Again, at least for me, and everyone is different and is at different points of their lives. But for me, I can report that it does indeed make me feel better and more connected with myself–and by extension, those I care about most.
You are deserving of some “you” time (whatever that may look like for you)! Being an adult, as simple and inevitable as it may be, is not easy, so I hope you give yourself some credit for how amazing you are!