“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” – Jana Kingsford

Color balance. Balance of patterns. Texture balance. 

We talk a lot about balance in relation to home décor, interior design, and fashion. And these are all very crucial elements to styling yourself and your home—but today, we are going to talk about creating a balance in your life.

I know what you’re thinking—Does that even exist?! Because I have yet to find it. 

I cannot count how many times I’ve heard people (or myself) say, “Ah yeah, well, I’m just trying to find a balance!” Usually, I’ve found this to be about “finding” a balance between work, personal life, hobbies, relationships, friendships, parenthood, alone time, all those very important things. 

As Jana Kingsford said, balance cannot be found. You will never find balance if you search for it. You will be waiting around a long, long, long time if you wait around for it to come to you. 

We have to create balance. Or we’ll never have it. 

And I’m no stranger to trying to find balance myself. When we first moved to New York, we dove headfirst into the hustle and bustle of the city. We were workaholics, constantly chasing the next project, attending networking events, and trying to build our lives in a city that never sleeps. It felt like we had to do all the things in order to succeed in this fast-paced, competitive environment. But, as you can imagine, that approach took a toll. We definitely had moments of feeling burnt out living life like this.

The whole waiting around waiting for balance to come and find me took far longer than I was willing to wait. I had no option to create balance for myself in order to remain composed and sane. 

Creating and having a healthy balance in your life goes hand-in-hand with boundaries. You have to set boundaries. You have to set boundaries with yourself, set boundaries with your colleagues, your family, and your friends. Without setting these clear boundaries — and only handling what you can and what you want (I know, I forget about the whole free-will thing too from time to time) — everything starts to mold together into one complicated and drab blob that only overwhelms and frustrates you. You have to remember that we’re all just operating off of our own set of expectations, so until you help others (or even yourself) understand what they should expect from you, there’s going to be a gap in mutual understanding!

And yes, you have to set boundaries with yourself—knowing when to say no, when to rest, and when to recharge. We can’t lose sight of our own well-being, especially as a parent! If I didn’t establish these boundaries, I could have easily spiraled into a further burnout, more stress, and frustration, which makes it even harder to find the peace and balance you’re craving. 

Like I said earlier, sometimes we forget we have free will. If you don’t feel up to doing something, you are perfectly allowed to politely pass. If you don’t feel great or simply want to stay in your house for the evening, you are able to do so! You are the one who is in control of your own life. And I know it is not easy when you feel pulled in 600 directions, but we have to break the auto-pilot-ness of life sometimes, get ourselves in check, and hit the restart button. 

You deserve to have balance in your life!